~The-DNAngel

So, that little bottle of emotions I keep is overflowing again. I should really get a bigger container for it.

We'll start with this weekend:
•Some of you know that there was a neat mini-con up at Atomic Comics in Mesa. It was pretty fun, despite the blistering heat and a few minor problems.
•Another some of you know that I broke up with my girlfriend, who shall not be named out of my respect for identity.
•She and another, who will also not be named, decided to do a skit in the little masquerade that was going on. Fine, ok. Go for it! It started off innocently enough; fan-service for those who enjoy the characters they were cosplaying. Then came the... Well... End of the skit... Right there, while they were being judged and in front of everyone, they kissed.
B... E... A... UTIFUL!
At that point I almost shut down, but because I am who I am, I just turned away a little and went on with the night! I mean, who am I to stop her if she likes someone else that much? I still respect her and I still want to be her friend but... Damn that was a quick recovery for her.
Truthfully, I'm mostly over it. that was a ton of bricks to my heart though. Natural reaction I hope.

Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to admit a problem I have. The way I describe it will make me sound incredibly 'emo', if that's how you would understand it.
•Everybody gets bored once in a while, right? Right! That's nothing special. However, when I get bored, I think I becaome a danger to myself.
•Since no one's really seen me with no pants on, or if they have while I'm changing or something, they haven't paid attention, no one's seen the scars on my right leg. those, every last one of them, were caused by me and me alone. I didn't fall, my dogs didn't just on me, I cut myself.
Not to kill myslef, mind you! I don't want to die after all. I'm not exactly sure why I do it. I go into this sort of relaxed state and go at it. I think with a bit of help, I can stop doin this though.
•There is only one instance in which I actually attempted suicide. It was actually just a test to see if it would work. you know what iodine is, right? yeah, well I mixed some into my fruit punch drink and drank it. Luckily, it didn't work! All I got was a bubbly stomach. I think the carbonation in the drink cancelled out the iodine.

So there it is! One long-arse, emotional journal. This may or may not happen again, but at least this helped me feel a little better!
Thanks in advance to those who read and those who try to help.